It’s coming back to basics. Remembering that all of it matters: every moment, each conversation, glance, smile, tone of voice, action.. all of it, has meaning, all of it leaves an impact; while at the same time none of it matters at all. Lay down the self importance, take it lightly, none of it is all that serious.
Life is a series of contradictions when you break it down; the opposite of most statements can often be true, depending on circumstance. There are no rules, while at the same time it is useful to follow what feels right (as long as it doesn’t harm others!).
We are who we are. Our past experiences moulding and shaping us so that we become who we are today; yet then we go on to ponder who the hell are we anyway? Am I my thoughts? Am I my actions? Am I who I spend my time with? Am I where I’m from? Am I my mother? My father? My brother? My sister? Am I my education? Am I my skills? …
Who the hell are we? Is it set in stone? Is there such thing as destiny?
Thoughts, thoughts, we can ponder, going round and round. Only to find, that it’s all just thought. Sometimes we believe some things, then in other moments our point of view is turned around, as new belief systems are set in place.
What theoretically ought to feel right, doesn’t always feel right. We are intricate, complex, creatures, does any of it make sense?
In this search to understand, to comprehend; to find ourselves whilst losing the sense of self at the same? Paradoxical to say the least; yet isn’t that what’s going on here? For some, perhaps, while others attempt to establish themselves more and more, in an attempt to be somebody, to be a name, a brand, to represent something.
Yet life is fluid, as we morph from one shape to the next, moment to moment, beyond our comprehension. So what? So what? So what?
Why? Why ? Why?
Why do we do what we do, make the decisions we make, believe that which believe?
You might wonder why waste your time wondering? Why bother? Who cares? We are who are right?
So true too! So relevant, for we couldn’t be any other way. Yet at the same time if we choose to understand ourselves more, to grasp a better idea of who we are, whilst at the same time realize the potential for who we could be is also infinite, well then.. well then what?
Understanding human nature, realizing how similar we are, how we are all capable of the same emotions, and if we were the other person, having lived through all their experiences we would be exactly them.
So then? So then what? What does it matter? Who gives a damn?
Well I do! I most certainly do!
Yet, who is this I that you speak of?
The alchemy of spirit. The magic that happens when the search begins. It comes as a calling for something more, a longing for connection. To FEEL Alive. To reconnect with that which we’ve forgotten, to reconnect with both ourselves and life itself.
We ALL know there’s so much more to life than that which meets the eye. Embrace it darling, embrace that truth, embrace that calling. Listen. It’s hard to hear, to accept that there isn something so inherently off with the life we’re living. Be brave, listen. It’s truth.
Listen to the calling, the whispers, the inklings.. some like to call it intuition.. what it is a deep knowing, beyond logic and rational.
If we’re not familiar with it, it requires becoming acquainted with, familiarising it. Yet we have all experienced it; that moment when we get this gut feeling that we should make a certain decision, yet the rational mind tells us otherwise, so we go with the rational mind only later to regret it saying “I knew it!” So why didn’t you listen?
It takes courage at the beginning, being brave, and jumping. When we’re so used to operating from the rational mind, from logic, it takes guts to defy it, to not listen, and to trust that deep internal knowing. At the beginnings its leaps of faith, yet the more we experience that those leaps of faith lead us in the right direction, the more faith we have, the more we trust, the more we realize that that deep internal knowing is truth. That we can trust ourselves, that we can trust our intuition.
It’s deeply empowering to be able to trust ones self; to reconnect with that aspect of ourselves, to reconnect with ourselves fullstop.
So what tools can we use for this? The first most essential part of the process, is practice, practice, practice! As with anything, the more we practice, the more familiar it becomes, the more innate it becomes. It requires trust, being brave, become acquainted with yourself.
A great tool that I began to use was feeling it in the body. I’d say no and feel how that felt in the body, and then say yes and feel how that felt in the body. For me the sensation is more present in the chest, no had a heavier feeling while yes had a lighter more tingly sensation. It will probably feel different for you, so check it out.
Then I progressed to asking myself yes and no questions to questions I knew the answer to so “is my name john?” “is my birthday in January?” “do I have 2 siblings?” and became familiar with the sensations when the answer was no or yes. Once I was familiar with the sensations I learned to apply this tool to everyday life when I’m struggling to find an answer to a question or struggling to make a decision, or simply am not quite sure about the decision I’m making.
So there you go, that’s an exercise I recommend trying. An empowering one at that, as you’re giving the power back yourself, not relying on anyone or anything else. Coming back to the body, coming back to your personal experience. Learning to trust yourself. Reconnecting with yourself. Which is what healings all about right?