In essence, we are all vibrating particles, right? If we really break anything down; be it a fan, a piece of wood, a tree, our skin, a rock, anything! at the very core we’re these little vibrating particles all vibrating at different frequencies; thus meaning, whatever frequency one is vibrating at it will therefore attract people and situations vibrating at a similar frequency.
Furthermore, if we choose to perceive life from this perspective it would become apparent that we are immersed in this interconnected web of vibration. That we are in this sea of vibrating particles, and that two elements vibrating next to each other are bound to impact one another.
My first upcoming exhibition is entitled exactly this “vibrational Being”.
So what does this mean? It’s experiencing life in its fluidity, for indeed change is the only constant in this beautiful thing we call life.
Change, change, change!
It is inevitable, yet for some reason we do like to solidify things, hold onto things, create some sort of permanence; yet it is when we resist the natural flows of life, when we try to solidify that which is fluid; that is when tension occurs, that is how we create suffering for ourselves. The more we resist that which is actually happening, the more we create that which we desire to eliminate.
Vibrational Being is a recognition that there is so much more to us than meets the eye, it is a recognition that in essence we are vibration. It is a recognition that different vibrations carry a different frequency, and that at different moments in life we each have our own frequency. That when we operate at a higher frequency, it is expressed in everything we say and do, we are lighter, and thus attract others and situations vibrating at that same frequency. It is also a recognition of the opposite; that when we are vibrating at a lower frequency we are denser/heavier, and will attract people and situations vibrating at that same frequency.
When we see and experience this we come to recognize that we are a part of this much larger web, and that everything we say or do, impacts so many others; at the same time it becomes evident that we are influenced by so many variables, so many other people, situations, moments; there is so much at play that makes us who we are in each and every moment.
In essence this is what I hope to express in the collection which I shall be exhibiting in Cork this coming month. A reminder that we are energetic Beings, and an essential part of a much larger interconnected web.
It’s coming back to basics. Remembering that all of it matters: every moment, each conversation, glance, smile, tone of voice, action.. all of it, has meaning, all of it leaves an impact; while at the same time none of it matters at all. Lay down the self importance, take it lightly, none of it is all that serious.
Life is a series of contradictions when you break it down; the opposite of most statements can often be true, depending on circumstance. There are no rules, while at the same time it is useful to follow what feels right (as long as it doesn’t harm others!).
We are who we are. Our past experiences moulding and shaping us so that we become who we are today; yet then we go on to ponder who the hell are we anyway? Am I my thoughts? Am I my actions? Am I who I spend my time with? Am I where I’m from? Am I my mother? My father? My brother? My sister? Am I my education? Am I my skills? …
Who the hell are we? Is it set in stone? Is there such thing as destiny?
Thoughts, thoughts, we can ponder, going round and round. Only to find, that it’s all just thought. Sometimes we believe some things, then in other moments our point of view is turned around, as new belief systems are set in place.
What theoretically ought to feel right, doesn’t always feel right. We are intricate, complex, creatures, does any of it make sense?
In this search to understand, to comprehend; to find ourselves whilst losing the sense of self at the same? Paradoxical to say the least; yet isn’t that what’s going on here? For some, perhaps, while others attempt to establish themselves more and more, in an attempt to be somebody, to be a name, a brand, to represent something.
Yet life is fluid, as we morph from one shape to the next, moment to moment, beyond our comprehension. So what? So what? So what?
Why? Why ? Why?
Why do we do what we do, make the decisions we make, believe that which believe?
You might wonder why waste your time wondering? Why bother? Who cares? We are who are right?
So true too! So relevant, for we couldn’t be any other way. Yet at the same time if we choose to understand ourselves more, to grasp a better idea of who we are, whilst at the same time realize the potential for who we could be is also infinite, well then.. well then what?
Understanding human nature, realizing how similar we are, how we are all capable of the same emotions, and if we were the other person, having lived through all their experiences we would be exactly them.
So then? So then what? What does it matter? Who gives a damn?
Well I do! I most certainly do!
Yet, who is this I that you speak of?
There are days where inspiration comes in explosions, oozing out of my skin from every single pore. There’s a bounce in my step, I’m so excited and so passionate about being alive. I want to jump, dance, sing, scream, shout, paint, write.. I want to let the whole world know how beautiful life is, how miraculous it is to be alive. There is so much I want to share and express I don’t even know how to beging getting out.. but I sit down with paint and paper or pen and paper or whatever mode of expression it is, perhaps even song, and it all comes flooding out. Like a dam has been opened, and finally it can all be expressed.
Then there are days that seem so dark I lose faith the light even exists. Moments of joy and excitement are a distant memory, and I’m not even sure what the point in any of it is. I feel tired, exhausted, energy-less, lifeless… Like I just want to lay in a crumpled pile on the floor and do nothing. Or that I want to cry. Or I feel so much rage that I want to break things and tear them apart. This energy can be creative sometimes and I can find myself writing or painting, expressing what might traditionally be judged as dark and negative.
While other times, in these darker days; I’ll lie for ages and ages, doing nothing.. sometimes it begins to spiral into darker and darker places as the negative self talk berates me for lying and doing nothing, and as I feel worse about myself, I become meaner to myself and feel worse about myself, and it feeds on itself, spiralling on and on and on.
Then there are the other times, in these darkers days, when I can lie in my sadness, and cry and let it all out without spiralling out so much; and even within that spiralling out I can remind myself that I’ve been here before, that I’ve been through this before,and that it has passed many times before, and this time too it shall pass. Sometimes it helps, and others it's futile.
Human Beings we’re emotional creatures, undeniably so, with some of us are more in touch with this, and able to be more fluid within the motions. Sometimes we hold onto whatever emotion we’re feeling, like happiness we never want it to end, yet honestly it’s exhausting feeling ecstatic all the time. Whilst in times of deep sadness sometimes we really don’t want to be feeling that way, we resist it, tell ourself not to feel like this, berate ourselves for going through this, but this is also counterproductive as we’re feeding it and giving it more power.
Then there’s this thing of positive affirmations, which have their value and place; and if youre in a really dark spot and that’s going to get you out of there maybe it’s helpful. Personally I feel that if in times of sadness and pain we start rambling out positive affirmations we’re not truly facing whats going on, we’re not being with ourselves and our experiences, and if we don’t get to know these parts of ourself, how are we going to come to terms with them? How is it ever going to become easier for ourselves? Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m right, maybe I’m both and some things work for some while others for others. Let me know you’re experience for sure.
Anyway! Throughout my teens I went through some dark times of deep self hatred and self loathing, which is a story for another time. But in short, as an expression of this I was cutting myself to express this pain, this suffering, in an attempt to escape, to runaway from what was happening. Physical pain is so much easier to cope with than emotional pain; and then of course there’s the high, the release.
We all have our coping mechanisms we use to cope with life.;be it drugs, alcohol, sugar, sex, exercise, whatever. Some of us cope with our coping mechanisms better than others; some of us are fine with them, and others of us beats ourselves up over them.
The reality is: when we resist who we are, when we resist what’s happening, when we wish for things to be different than how they actually are; we’re actually giving more energy and focus to that which we don’t want, and in so doing create more of it. You've experienced it yourself: as soon as someone tells you not to think about butterflies, what are you going to think about? Butterflies of course.
So then perhaps is the solution to focus on what you do want? What you do want to be experiencing, how you want to be feeling. At the same time, you don't want this to be another escape mechanism either. For example, when you’re deep in a moment of sadness, by focusing on happiness you’re in denial of what is actually happening and indirectly are still resisting what is actually happening.
The most effective away for us to allow that which we don't want in our lives to dissipate is to allow for them to be, to feel the sadness, to be with the dislike, to make peace and come to terms with what is actually happening.
On the other hand there are plenty of situations in which we can focus on what we want to be happening. It's a matter of identifying when to apply which way of approach; and the only way to learn this is from personal experience.
But just to give you some insight: in creating your future, in long term goals, yes focus on what you want to create, how you want to feel, what you wish to experience.
Whilst in the short term, when in the turmoils of emotion, when witnessing negative self talk, when berating yourself; if you realize you’re trying to escape your experience, what’s happening, who you’re interacting with, THEN go into the emotion, the experience, allow yourself to fully experience what is happening without running away. Then you may even gain some insight into the core of what is happening, you may gain some understanding and realise the futility in your reaction.. and THEN all on its own it shall dissipate; something that will never happen if you keep resisting and running away from your actual experience.
Why not do what you Love? Life is too short not too.
Perhaps I'm a dreamer, an idealist.. yet I do believe we can live in a world where we can all do what we love to survive and thrive. In fact I believe it is essential that we do so. We are all so unique, composed of the unique sum totally of our experiences, and thus having something to share with the world that nobody else does. To further contribute to that when we are fuelled by the passion of doing what we love, when we are inspired, and motivated, we accomplish so much more.. and that energy of passion, inspiration, and motivation seems to energetically attract that which we need much more than when we are unmotivated and uninspired.
Personally I’m extremely passionate about self expression and through this self revelation.. Be it through writing, speaking, painting, yoga, dancing, singing, problem solving.. whatever shape or form it takes.. it is such a powerful tool for growth.
For it is through self expression that we grow. Nurturing what’s true to us and dear to our heart.
We empower ourselves
Empower our voices
Our entire BEingness
And through self expression we learn more about ourselves, reveal more of ourselves, and thus expand, grow and evolve.
For when we don’t do this. When we repress ourselves, resist who we are, what’s dear to our souls, we begin to shut down, shrivel up, we disconnect from ourselves and come to this place of dis-ease with ourselves.
Sometimes it seems easier to not express ourselves, to stay small, quiet, not too big, to not stand out.. but over time, that takes its toll.
And though it may seem scary at our first, in the long run, honest self expression is easier. there’s a feeling, of satisfaction, empowerment, self realization that comes with it. even though it may seem scary at the beginning, when we step through. it feels so damn good..
And with time, with practice
We gain experience
It becomes easier
Because we know we can do it
And we know It’s totally worth it.
So what could you do today to express yourself more fully?
It might be in the form of expressing an opinion that disagrees with somebody elses
Or it might be marching in the streets for a cause
Whatever shape or form it takes
Do not underestimate its value
And no, it’s not always easy.
But Be Brave. Be Brave. Be Brave.
What’s the worst that could happen?
And what’s the best that could happen?
And what’s the point in Being you, if you’re not going to BE you?!
reaction to emotion.
Externalising that which is within
internalising that which is without.
If we could only just recognise..
That that which is within, is without;
and that which is without, is within.
If everything is ours
and we own nothing.
Yet our truth,
is it truly ours to own?
Or is it universal,
the voice of our souls.
If we are the universe,
and the universe is us...
As a human being,
where does that leave us?